If you’re an old follower of this blog, “I’m back!” If you’re a new follower, “Welcome!”
`Tis February 2014. I did not hit my goal of 290 pounds. In fact, I gained twenty pounds back since my last blog post in November. As of this blog post I weigh… 360 pounds. I could blame this on a creative burst in my writing, or the fact that I uprooted my family and moved from Alabama to Georgia thus disrupting the fluid existence we had maintained for almost five years, or I could be honest and tell you that I’m lazy and love food. 🙂
Anyway, the point is, I’m back at it again. Starting March 3rd, I’m going on a carrot juice fast for seven days. I know a lot of you don’t think this works, but it works for me. That is a fact. Every time I kick start my weight loss with a cleanse (especially a juice cleanse) I drop 10 to 15 pounds of waste in the first week. That gives me the boost in energy I need to start exercising. Once I come off the liquid diet, I don’t crave the baked goods and confections and fried foods that escalated my weight to a point where I was killing myself at 410 pounds.
My weight will be a constant struggle for me. I was born fat and have been fat ever since. I never had my “Skinny Period” (whatever that means) and don’t care to have one. I simply want to be healthy. I kicked smoking and drinking, but for some reason food still controls me.
Reboot #3, here we go. Third time’s the charm, and all that happy horse [expletive deleted].
Oh, for those of you who don’t know, I don’t cuss in this blog because I want people of all ages to gain from it. 🙂
Weight: 377, up one pound since yesterday.
I will admit, that extra pound is all my fault. My family and I had a fantastic day out at the Fairhope Arts and Crafts Festival yesterday. Chelle and I shared a gyro built on a slice of peta bread the size of a dinner plate, upon which rested over a pound of meat smothered in tzatziki sauce and covered with a fistful of roman salad, seemingly thrown on as an afterthought. Everyone needs their veggies, right? It was amazing, but I could almost feel the fat collecting after only ten minutes. I exaggerate, of course. Totally worth the weight gain, though. As my friend, Jeff Beyak, told me a while back, I deserve a cheat day every now and then. The only reason I didn’t gain more is because I danced with Autumn during the crowd participation part of her recital, not to mention all the walking we did at the festival. Probably a good two miles worth. Here are some pictures.
We saw a great deal of beautiful art and handmade items, but incredulously, every booth had a sign hanging above its entrance which read: Please, no photography. By the end of the day, I was contently sore, happy in my aches and pains. Just a month ago, I wouldn’t have been able to join Autumn on the dance floor, nor would I have been able to walk around and site-see as much as I did. This is a new direction for me, a life I’m thrilled to be living.
Ah, living. Living instead of just existing.
This morning, I awoke happier than I’ve felt in a long time. I wasn’t depressed before, but I knew something was missing. I’ve finally filled that hole. Family has always come first to me, but now it’s as if I’ve been invited to take part in life instead of being a static spectator. I’m a very, very happy man this day.
Now it’s time to work off that gyro. 😉
Ich seh dich morgen!
Weight: 368, up another two pounds.
You see that shit up there, that weight… that’s why people give up. The constant ups and downs of weights loss are frustrating. I can see a change in my mental status, though, as failure this go around is not a damn option. I’m two men living on one skeleton. This shit’s gotta go. I know I’m repeating myself, but once again, this journal is for me, not you. I refuse to give up.
I’m not changing anything just yet. I have a feeling most of the weight I’ve gained back is just food sitting somewhere in my body. I feel better. I’m stronger. And as I stated in the last post, I’m… fleshier. The fat is leaving me, so I can no longer depend on my scale to give me an accurate weight. As long as I keep feeling a difference, I will maintain my current course. The numbers are getting to me, though, I’m not going to lie. I planned on being one hundred percent honest during this journey of mine, because if I lie to you, I’m only really hurting myself. Keeping my head straight has been the hardest. Eating healthier has been simple by comparison.
Funny side note: As I’m writing this, I’m sucking in my stomach, working my abdomen. I just realized I was doing it. Gotta love the new habits.
Still walking and taking in more veggies than meats. And despite the tone of today’s blog, I’m in high spirits.
By the way, what do you think of the new layout? Hard to read? Just fine? Hate it? Let me know. I want this readable, even if I’m only doing it for myself.